Home World News The Diary of Rupert St John-Fontaine: Raise the threat level to laldy!

The Diary of Rupert St John-Fontaine: Raise the threat level to laldy!

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“Hey Rupert,” shouts Rebeccah at Health. “I’m having a party this weekend. We’ve imported some rather lively artisan tobacco products from our friends in the Turkish consulate. Perhaps you’d like to come along and help strengthen our cultural ties in the Bosphorus.”

Next it’s Paula from education. “Roopy-doop, sweetheart. My friend has a start-up business in the Canongate, specialising in wild poppies and mushrooms from Central and South Asia. She wants to invite you to do the opening.”

It’s all beginning to get rather tiresome.

TUESDAY

I RECEIVE an email from Stewart McDonald, our Defence spokesperson at Westminster. I quite like Stewart. He’s not averse to the odd cocktail of an evening though, and recently gave me a decent recommendation for designer spectacles at a place in Leith called Madden & Beaton.

“Rupert, we need to formulate a Scottish defence White Paper in the event of us being…

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